To Build a Fire
By
Jack London
Day had broken cold and
gray, exceedingly cold and gray, when the man turned aside from the
main Yukon trail and climbed the high earth-bank, where a dim and
little-travelled trail led eastward through the fat spruce
timberland. It was a steep bank, and he paused for breath at the top,
excusing the act to himself by looking at his watch. It was nine
o'clock. There was no sun nor hint of sun, though there was not a
cloud in the sky. It was a clear day, and yet there seemed an
intangible pall over the face of things, a subtle gloom that made the
day dark, and that was due to the absence of sun. This fact did not
worry the man. He was used to the lack of sun. It had been days since
he had seen the sun, and he knew that a few more days must pass
before that cheerful orb, due south, would just peep above the
sky-line and dip immediately from view.
The man flung a look
back along the way he had come. The Yukon lay a mile wide and hidden
under three feet of ice. On top of this ice were as many feet of
snow. It was all pure white, rolling in gentle undulations where the
ice-jams of the freeze-up had formed. North and south, as far as his
eye could see, it was unbroken white, save for a dark hair-line that
curved and twisted from around the spruce-covered island to the
south, and that curved and twisted away into the north, where it
disappeared behind another spruce-covered island. This dark hair-line
was the trail—the main trail—that led south five hundred
miles to the Chilcoot Pass, Dyea, and salt water; and that led north
seventy miles to Dawson, and still on to the north a thousand miles
to Nulato, and finally to St. Michael on Bering Sea, a thousand miles
and half a thousand more.
But all this—the
mysterious, far-reaching hair-line trail, the absence of sun from the
sky, the tremendous cold, and the strangeness and weirdness of it
all—made no impression on the man. It was not because he was
long used to it. He was a newcomer in the land, a chechaquo, and this
was his first winter. The trouble with him was that he was without
imagination. He was quick and alert in the things of life, but only
in the things, and not in the significances. Fifty degrees below zero
meant eighty-odd degrees of frost. Such fact impressed him as being
cold and uncomfortable, and that was all. It did not lead him to
meditate upon his frailty as a creature of temperature, and upon
man's frailty in general, able only to live within certain narrow
limits of heat and cold; and from there on it did not lead him to the
conjectural field of immortality and man's place in the universe.
Fifty degrees below zero stood for a bite of frost that hurt and that
must be guarded against by the use of mittens, ear-flaps, warm
moccasins, and thick socks. Fifty degrees below zero was to him just
precisely fifty degrees below zero. That there should be anything
more to it than that was a thought that never entered his head.
As he turned to go on,
he spat speculatively. There was a sharp, explosive crackle that
startled him. He spat again. And again, in the air, before it could
fall to the snow, the spittle crackled. He knew that at fifty below
spittle crackled on the snow, but this spittle had crackled in the
air. Undoubtedly it was colder than fifty below—how much colder
he did not know. But the temperature did not matter. He was bound for
the old claim on the left fork of Henderson Creek, where the boys
were already. They had come over across the divide from the Indian
Creek country, while he had come the roundabout way to take a look at
the possibilities of getting out logs in the spring from the islands
in the Yukon. He would be in to camp by six o'clock; a bit after
dark, it was true, but the boys would be there, a fire would be
going, and a hot supper would be ready. As for lunch, he pressed his
hand against the protruding bundle under his jacket. It was also
under his shirt, wrapped up in a handkerchief and lying against the
naked skin. It was the only way to keep the biscuits from freezing.
He smiled agreeably to himself as he thought of those biscuits, each
cut open and sopped in bacon grease, and each enclosing a generous
slice of fried bacon.
He plunged in among the
big spruce trees. The trail was faint. A foot of snow had fallen
since the last sled had passed over, and he was glad he was without a
sled, travelling light. In fact, he carried nothing but the lunch
wrapped in the handkerchief. He was surprised, however, at the cold.
It certainly was cold, he concluded, as he rubbed his numb nose and
cheek-bones with his mittened hand. He was a warm-whiskered man, but
the hair on his face did not protect the high cheek-bones and the
eager nose that thrust itself aggressively into the frosty air.
At the man's heels
trotted a dog, a big native husky, the proper wolf-dog, gray-coated
and without any visible or temperamental difference from its brother,
the wild wolf. The animal was depressed by the tremendous cold. It
knew that it was no time for travelling. Its instinct told it a truer
tale than was told to the man by the man's judgment. In reality, it
was not merely colder than fifty below zero; it was colder than sixty
below, than seventy below. It was seventy-five below zero. Since the
freezing-point is thirty-two above zero, it meant that one hundred
and seven degrees of frost obtained. The dog did not know anything
about thermometers. Possibly in its brain there was no sharp
consciousness of a condition of very cold such as was in the man's
brain. But the brute had its instinct. It experienced a vague but
menacing apprehension that subdued it and made it slink along at the
man's heels, and that made it question eagerly every unwonted
movement of the man as if expecting him to go into camp or to seek
shelter somewhere and build a fire. The dog had learned fire, and it
wanted fire, or else to burrow under the snow and cuddle its warmth
away from the air.
The frozen moisture of
its breathing had settled on its fur in a fine powder of frost, and
especially were its jowls, muzzle, and eyelashes whitened by its
crystalled breath. The man's red beard and mustache were likewise
frosted, but more solidly, the deposit taking the form of ice and
increasing with every warm, moist breath he exhaled. Also, the man
was chewing tobacco, and the muzzle of ice held his lips so rigidly
that he was unable to clear his chin when he expelled the juice. The
result was that a crystal beard of the color and solidity of amber
was increasing its length on his chin. If he fell down it would
shatter itself, like glass, into brittle fragments. But he did not
mind the appendage. It was the penalty all tobacco-chewers paid in
that country, and he had been out before in two cold snaps. They had
not been so cold as this, he knew, but by the spirit thermometer at
Sixty Mile he knew they had been registered at fifty below and at
fifty-five.
He held on through the
level stretch of woods for several miles, crossed a wide flat of
niggerheads, and dropped down a bank to the frozen bed of a small
stream. This was Henderson Creek, and he knew he was ten miles from
the forks. He looked at his watch. It was ten o'clock. He was making
four miles an hour, and he calculated that he would arrive at the
forks at half-past twelve. He decided to celebrate that event by
eating his lunch there.
The dog dropped in
again at his heels, with a tail drooping discouragement, as the man
swung along the creek-bed. The furrow of the old sled-trail was
plainly visible, but a dozen inches of snow covered the marks of the
last runners. In a month no man had come up or down that silent
creek. The man held steadily on. He was not much given to thinking,
and just then particularly he had nothing to think about save that he
would eat lunch at the forks and that at six o'clock he would be in
camp with the boys. There was nobody to talk to; and, had there been,
speech would have been impossible because of the ice-muzzle on his
mouth. So he continued monotonously to chew tobacco and to increase
the length of his amber beard.
Once in a while the
thought reiterated itself that it was very cold and that he had never
experienced such cold. As he walked along he rubbed his cheek-bones
and nose with the back of his mittened hand. He did this
automatically, now and again changing hands. But rub as he would, the
instant he stopped his cheek-bones went numb, and the following
instant the end of his nose went numb. He was sure to frost his
cheeks; he knew that, and experienced a pang of regret that he had
not devised a nose-strap of the sort Bud wore in cold snaps. Such a
strap passed across the cheeks, as well, and saved them. But it
didn't matter much, after all. What were frosted cheeks? A bit
painful, that was all; they were never serious.
Empty as the man's mind
was of thoughts, he was keenly observant, and he noticed the changes
in the creek, the curves and bends and timber-jams, and always he
sharply noted where he placed his feet. Once, coming around a bend,
he shied abruptly, like a startled horse, curved away from the place
where he had been walking, and retreated several paces back along the
trail. The creek he knew was frozen clear to the bottom,—no
creek could contain water in that arctic winter,—but he knew
also that there were springs that bubbled out from the hillsides and
ran along under the snow and on top the ice of the creek. He knew
that the coldest snaps never froze these springs, and he knew
likewise their danger. They were traps. They hid pools of water under
the snow that might be three inches deep, or three feet. Sometimes a
skin of ice half an inch thick covered them, and in turn was covered
by the snow. Sometimes there were alternate layers of water and
ice-skin, so that when one broke through he kept on breaking through
for a while, sometimes wetting himself to the waist.
That was why he had
shied in such panic. He had felt the give under his feet and heard
the crackle of a snow-hidden ice-skin. And to get his feet wet in
such a temperature meant trouble and danger. At the very least it
meant delay, for he would be forced to stop and build a fire, and
under its protection to bare his feet while he dried his socks and
moccasins. He stood and studied the creek-bed and its banks, and
decided that the flow of water came from the right. He reflected
awhile, rubbing his nose and cheeks, then skirted to the left,
stepping gingerly and testing the footing for each step. Once clear
of the danger, he took a fresh chew of tobacco and swung along at his
four-mile gait. In the course of the next two hours he came upon
several similar traps. Usually the snow above the hidden pools had a
sunken, candied appearance that advertised the danger. Once again,
however, he had a close call; and once, suspecting danger, he
compelled the dog to go on in front. The dog did not want to go. It
hung back until the man shoved it forward, and then it went quickly
across the white, unbroken surface. Suddenly it broke through,
floundered to one side, and got away to firmer footing. It had wet
its forefeet and legs, and almost immediately the water that clung to
it turned to ice. It made quick efforts to lick the ice off its legs,
then dropped down in the snow and began to bite out the ice that had
formed between the toes. This was a matter of instinct. To permit the
ice to remain would mean sore feet. It did not know this. It merely
obeyed the mysterious prompting that arose from the deep crypts of
its being. But the man knew, having achieved a judgment on the
subject, and he removed the mitten from his right hand and helped
tear out the ice-particles. He did not expose his fingers more than a
minute, and was astonished at the swift numbness that smote them. It
certainly was cold. He pulled on the mitten hastily, and beat the
hand savagely across his chest.
At twelve o'clock the
day was at its brightest. Yet the sun was too far south on its winter
journey to clear the horizon. The bulge of the earth intervened
between it and Henderson Creek, where the man walked under a clear
sky at noon and cast no shadow. At half-past twelve, to the minute,
he arrived at the forks of the creek. He was pleased at the speed he
had made. If he kept it up, he would certainly be with the boys by
six. He unbuttoned his jacket and shirt and drew forth his lunch. The
action consumed no more than a quarter of a minute, yet in that brief
moment the numbness laid hold of the exposed fingers. He did not put
the mitten on, but, instead, struck the fingers a dozen sharp smashes
against his leg. Then he sat down on a snow-covered log to eat. The
sting that followed upon the striking of his fingers against his leg
ceased so quickly that he was startled. He had had no chance to take
a bite of biscuit. He struck the fingers repeatedly and returned them
to the mitten, baring the other hand for the purpose of eating. He
tried to take a mouthful, but the ice-muzzle prevented. He had
forgotten to build a fire and thaw out. He chuckled at his
foolishness, and as he chuckled he noted the numbness creeping into
the exposed fingers. Also, he noted that the stinging which had first
come to his toes when he sat down was already passing away. He
wondered whether the toes were warm or numb. He moved them inside the
moccasins and decided that they were numb.
He pulled the mitten on
hurriedly and stood up. He was a bit frightened. He stamped up and
down until the stinging returned into the feet. It certainly was
cold, was his thought. That man from Sulphur Creek had spoken the
truth when telling how cold it sometimes got in the country. And he
had laughed at him at the time! That showed one must not be too sure
of things. There was no mistake about it, it was cold. He strode up
and down, stamping his feet and threshing his arms, until reassured
by the returning warmth. Then he got out matches and proceeded to
make a fire. From the undergrowth, where high water of the previous
spring had lodged a supply of seasoned twigs, he got his fire-wood.
Working carefully from a small beginning, he soon had a roaring fire,
over which he thawed the ice from his face and in the protection of
which he ate his biscuits. For the moment the cold of space was
outwitted. The dog took satisfaction in the fire, stretching out
close enough for warmth and far enough away to escape being singed.
When the man had
finished, he filled his pipe and took his comfortable time over a
smoke. Then he pulled on his mittens, settled the ear-flaps of his
cap firmly about his ears, and took the creek trail up the left fork.
The dog was disappointed and yearned back toward the fire. This man
did not know cold. Possibly all the generations of his ancestry had
been ignorant of cold, of real cold, of cold one hundred and seven
degrees below freezing-point. But the dog knew; all its ancestry
knew, and it had inherited the knowledge. And it knew that it was not
good to walk abroad in such fearful cold. It was the time to lie snug
in a hole in the snow and wait for a curtain of cloud to be drawn
across the face of outer space whence this cold came. On the other
hand, there was no keen intimacy between the dog and the man. The one
was the toil-slave of the other, and the only caresses it had ever
received were the caresses of the whip-lash and of harsh and menacing
throat-sounds that threatened the whip-lash. So the dog made no
effort to communicate its apprehension to the man. It was not
concerned in the welfare of the man; it was for its own sake that it
yearned back toward the fire. But the man whistled, and spoke to it
with the sound of whip-lashes, and the dog swung in at the man's
heels and followed after.
The man took a chew of
tobacco and proceeded to start a new amber beard. Also, his moist
breath quickly powdered with white his mustache, eyebrows, and
lashes. There did not seem to be so many springs on the left fork of
the Henderson, and for half an hour the man saw no signs of any. And
then it happened. At a place where there were no signs, where the
soft, unbroken snow seemed to advertise solidity beneath, the man
broke through. It was not deep. He wet himself halfway to the knees
before he floundered out to the firm crust.
He was angry, and
cursed his luck aloud. He had hoped to get into camp with the boys at
six o'clock, and this would delay him an hour, for he would have to
build a fire and dry out his foot-gear. This was imperative at that
low temperature—he knew that much; and he turned aside to the
bank, which he climbed. On top, tangled in the underbrush about the
trunks of several small spruce trees, was a high-water deposit of dry
fire-wood—sticks and twigs, principally, but also larger
portions of seasoned branches and fine, dry, last-year's grasses. He
threw down several large pieces on top of the snow. This served for a
foundation and prevented the young flame from drowning itself in the
snow it otherwise would melt. The flame he got by touching a match to
a small shred of birch-bark that he took from his pocket. This burned
even more readily than paper. Placing it on the foundation, he fed
the young flame with wisps of dry grass and with the tiniest dry
twigs.
He worked slowly and
carefully, keenly aware of his danger. Gradually, as the flame grew
stronger, he increased the size of the twigs with which he fed it. He
squatted in the snow, pulling the twigs out from their entanglement
in the brush and feeding directly to the flame. He knew there must be
no failure. When it is seventy-five below zero, a man must not fail
in his first attempt to build a fire—that is, if his feet are
wet. If his feet are dry, and he fails, he can run along the trail
for half a mile and restore his circulation. But the circulation of
wet and freezing feet cannot be restored by running when it is
seventy-five below. No matter how fast he runs, the wet feet will
freeze the harder.
All this the man knew.
The old-timer on Sulphur Creek had told him about it the previous
fall, and now he was appreciating the advice. Already all sensation
had gone out of his feet. To build the fire he had been forced to
remove his mittens, and the fingers had quickly gone numb. His pace
of four miles an hour had kept his heart pumping blood to the surface
of his body and to all the extremities. But the instant he stopped,
the action of the pump eased down. The cold of space smote the
unprotected tip of the planet, and he, being on that unprotected tip,
received the full force of the blow. The blood of his body recoiled
before it. The blood was alive, like the dog, and like the dog it
wanted to hide away and cover itself up from the fearful cold. So
long as he walked four miles an hour, he pumped that blood,
willy-nilly, to the surface; but now it ebbed away and sank down into
the recesses of his body. The extremities were the first to feel its
absence. His wet feet froze the faster, and his exposed fingers
numbed the faster, though they had not yet begun to freeze. Nose and
cheeks were already freezing, while the skin of all his body chilled
as it lost its blood.
man warming at fireBut
he was safe. Toes and nose and cheeks would be only touched by the
frost, for the fire was beginning to burn with strength. He was
feeding it with twigs the size of his finger. In another minute he
would be able to feed it with branches the size of his wrist, and
then he could remove his wet foot-gear, and, while it dried, he could
keep his naked feet warm by the fire, rubbing them at first, of
course, with snow. The fire was a success. He was safe. He remembered
the advice of the old-timer on Sulphur Creek, and smiled. The
old-timer had been very serious in laying down the law that no man
must travel alone in the Klondike after fifty below. Well, here he
was; he had had the accident; he was alone; and he had saved himself.
Those old-timers were rather womanish, some of them, he thought. All
a man had to do was to keep his head, and he was all right. Any man
who was a man could travel alone. But it was surprising, the rapidity
with which his cheeks and nose were freezing. And he had not thought
his fingers could go lifeless in so short a time. Lifeless they were,
for he could scarcely make them move together to grip a twig, and
they seemed remote from his body and from him. When he touched a
twig, he had to look and see whether or not he had hold of it. The
wires were pretty well down between him and his finger-ends.
All of which counted
for little. There was the fire, snapping and crackling and promising
life with every dancing flame. He started to untie his moccasins.
They were coated with ice; the thick German socks were like sheaths
of iron halfway to the knees; and the moccasin strings were like rods
of steel all twisted and knotted as by some conflagration. For a
moment he tugged with his numb fingers, then, realizing the folly of
it, he drew his sheath-knife.
But before he could cut
the strings, it happened. It was his own fault or, rather, his
mistake. He should not have built the fire under the spruce tree. He
should have built it in the open. But it had been easier to pull the
twigs from the brush and drop them directly on the fire. Now the tree
under which he had done this carried a weight of snow on its boughs.
No wind had blown for weeks, and each bough was fully freighted. Each
time he had pulled a twig he had communicated a slight agitation to
the tree—an imperceptible agitation, so far as he was
concerned, but an agitation sufficient to bring about the disaster.
High up in the tree one bough capsized its load of snow. This fell on
the boughs beneath, capsizing them. This process continued, spreading
out and involving the whole tree. It grew like an avalanche, and it
descended without warning upon the man and the fire, and the fire was
blotted out! Where it had burned was a mantle of fresh and disordered
snow.
The man was shocked. It
was as though he had just heard his own sentence of death. For a
moment he sat and stared at the spot where the fire had been. Then he
grew very calm. Perhaps the old-timer on Sulphur Creek was right. If
he had only had a trail-mate he would have been in no danger now. The
trail-mate could have built the fire. Well, it was up to him to build
the fire over again, and this second time there must be no failure.
Even if he succeeded, he would most likely lose some toes. His feet
must be badly frozen by now, and there would be some time before the
second fire was ready.
Such were his thoughts,
but he did not sit and think them. He was busy all the time they were
passing through his mind. He made a new foundation for a fire, this
time in the open, where no treacherous tree could blot it out. Next,
he gathered dry grasses and tiny twigs from the high-water flotsam.
He could not bring his fingers together to pull them out, but he was
able to gather them by the handful. In this way he got many rotten
twigs and bits of green moss that were undesirable, but it was the
best he could do. He worked methodically, even collecting an armful
of the larger branches to be used later when the fire gathered
strength. And all the while the dog sat and watched him, a certain
yearning wistfulness in its eyes, for it looked upon him as the
fire-provider, and the fire was slow in coming.
When all was ready, the
man reached in his pocket for a second piece of birch-bark. He knew
the bark was there, and, though he could not feel it with his
fingers, he could hear its crisp rustling as he fumbled for it. Try
as he would, he could not clutch hold of it. And all the time, in his
consciousness, was the knowledge that each instant his feet were
freezing. This thought tended to put him in a panic, but he fought
against it and kept calm. He pulled on his mittens with his teeth,
and threshed his arms back and forth, beating his hands with all his
might against his sides. He did this sitting down, and he stood up to
do it; and all the while the dog sat in the snow, its wolf-brush of a
tail curled around warmly over its forefeet, its sharp wolf-ears
pricked forward intently as it watched the man. And the man, as he
beat and threshed with his arms and hands, felt a great surge of envy
as he regarded the creature that was warm and secure in its natural
covering.
After a time he was
aware of the first faraway signals of sensation in his beaten
fingers. The faint tingling grew stronger till it evolved into a
stinging ache that was excruciating, but which the man hailed with
satisfaction. He stripped the mitten from his right hand and fetched
forth the birch-bark. The exposed fingers were quickly going numb
again. Next he brought out his bunch of sulphur matches. But the
tremendous cold had already driven the life out of his fingers. In
his effort to separate one match from the others, the whole bunch
fell in the snow. He tried to pick it out of the snow, but failed.
The dead fingers could neither touch nor clutch. He was very careful.
He drove the thought of his freezing feet, and nose, and cheeks, out
of his mind, devoting his whole soul to the matches. He watched,
using the sense of vision in place of that of touch, and when he saw
his fingers on each side the bunch, he closed them—that is, he
willed to close them, for the wires were down, and the fingers did
not obey. He pulled the mitten on the right hand, and beat it
fiercely against his knee. Then, with both mittened hands, he scooped
the bunch of matches, along with much snow, into his lap. Yet he was
no better off
Man and dog sitting
across the ruins of the fire.After some manipulation he managed to
get the bunch between the heels of his mittened hands. In this
fashion he carried it to his mouth. The ice crackled and snapped when
by a violent effort he opened his mouth. He drew the lower jaw in,
curled the upper lip out of the way, and scraped the bunch with his
upper teeth in order to separate a match. He succeeded in getting
one, which he dropped on his lap. He was no better off. He could not
pick it up. Then he devised a way. He picked it up in his teeth and
scratched it on his leg. Twenty times he scratched before he
succeeded in lighting it. As it flamed he held it with his teeth to
the birch-bark. But the burning brimstone went up his nostrils and
into his lungs, causing him to cough spasmodically. The match fell
into the snow and went out.
The old-timer on
Sulphur Creek was right, he thought in the moment of controlled
despair that ensued: after fifty below, a man should travel with a
partner. He beat his hands, but failed in exciting any sensation.
Suddenly he bared both hands, removing the mittens with his teeth. He
caught the whole bunch between the heels of his hands. His
arm-muscles not being frozen enabled him to press the hand-heels
tightly against the matches. Then he scratched the bunch along his
leg. It flared into flame, seventy sulphur matches at once! There was
no wind to blow them out. He kept his head to one side to escape the
strangling fumes, and held the blazing bunch to the birch-bark. As he
so held it, he became aware of sensation in his hand. His flesh was
burning. He could smell it. Deep down below the surface he could feel
it. The sensation developed into pain that grew acute. And still he
endured it, holding the flame of the matches clumsily to the bark
that would not light readily because his own burning hands were in
the way, absorbing most of the flame.
At last, when he could
endure no more, he jerked his hands apart. The blazing matches fell
sizzling into the snow, but the birch-bark was alight. He began
laying dry grasses and the tiniest twigs on the flame. He could not
pick and choose, for he had to lift the fuel between the heels of his
hands. Small pieces of rotten wood and green moss clung to the twigs,
and he bit them off as well as he could with his teeth. He cherished
the flame carefully and awkwardly. It meant life, and it must not
perish. The withdrawal of blood from the surface of his body now made
him begin to shiver, and he grew more awkward. A large piece of green
moss fell squarely on the little fire. He tried to poke it out with
his fingers, but his shivering frame made him poke too far, and he
disrupted the nucleus of the little fire, the burning grasses and
tiny twigs separating and scattering. He tried to poke them together
again, but in spite of the tenseness of the effort, his shivering got
away with him, and the twigs were hopelessly scattered. Each twig
gushed a puff of smoke and went out. The fire-provider had failed. As
he looked apathetically about him, his eyes chanced on the dog,
sitting across the ruins of the fire from him, in the snow, making
restless, hunching movements, slightly lifting one forefoot and then
the other, shifting its weight back and forth on them with wistful
eagerness.
The sight of the dog
put a wild idea into his head. He remembered the tale of the man,
caught in a blizzard, who killed a steer and crawled inside the
carcass, and so was saved. He would kill the dog and bury his hands
in the warm body until the numbness went out of them. Then he could
build another fire. He spoke to the dog, calling it to him; but in
his voice was a strange note of fear that frightened the animal, who
had never known the man to speak in such way before. Something was
the matter, and its suspicious nature sensed danger—it knew not
what danger, but somewhere, somehow, in its brain arose an
apprehension of the man. It flattened its ears down at the sound of
the man's voice, and its restless, hunching movements and the
liftings and shiftings of its forefeet became more pronounced; but it
would not come to the man. He got on his hands and knees and crawled
toward the dog. This unusual posture again excited suspicion, and the
animal sidled mincingly away.
The man sat up in the
snow for a moment and struggled for calmness. Then he pulled on his
mittens, by means of his teeth, and got upon his feet. He glanced
down at first in order to assure himself that he was really standing
up, for the absence of sensation in his feet left him unrelated to
the earth. His erect position in itself started to drive the webs of
suspicion from the dog's mind; and when he spoke peremptorily, with
the sound of whip-lashes in his voice, the dog rendered its customary
allegiance and came to him. As it came within reaching distance, the
man lost his control. His arms flashed out to the dog, and he
experienced genuine surprise when he discovered that his hands could
not clutch, that there was neither bend nor feeling in the fingers.
He had forgotten for the moment that they were frozen and that they
were freezing more and more. All this happened quickly, and before
the animal could get away, he encircled its body with his arms. He
sat down in the snow, and in this fashion held the dog, while it
snarled and whined and struggled.
But it was all he could
do, hold its body encircled in his arms and sit there. He realized
that he could not kill the dog. There was no way to do it. With his
helpess hands he could neither draw nor hold his sheath-knife nor
throttle the animal. He released it, and it plunged wildly away, with
tail between its legs, and still snarling. It halted forty feet away
and surveyed him curiously, with ears sharply pricked forward. The
man looked down at his hands in order to locate them, and found them
hanging on the ends of his arms. It struck him as curious that one
should have to use his eyes in order to find out where his hands
were. He began threshing his arms back and forth, beating the
mittened hands against his sides. He did this for five minutes,
violently, and his heart pumped enough blood up to the surface to put
a stop to his shivering. But no sensation was aroused in the hands.
He had an impression that they hung like weights on the ends of his
arms, but when he tried to run the impression down, he could not find
it.
A certain fear of
death, dull and oppressive, came to him. This fear quickly became
poignant as he realized that it was no longer a mere matter of
freezing his fingers and toes, or of losing his hands and feet, but
that it was a matter of life and death with the chances against him.
This threw him into a panic, and he turned and ran up the creek-bed
along the old, dim trail. The dog joined in behind and kept up with
him. He ran blindly, without intention, in fear such as he had never
known in his life. Slowly, as he ploughed and floundered through the
snow, he began to see things again,—the banks of the creek, the
old timber-jams, the leafless aspens, and the sky. The running made
him feel better. He did not shiver. Maybe, if he ran on, his feet
would thaw out; and, anyway, if he ran far enough, he would reach
camp and the boys. Without doubt he would lose some fingers and toes
and some of his face; but the boys would take care of him, and save
the rest of him when he got there. And at the same time there was
another thought in his mind that said he would never get to the camp
and the boys; that it was too many miles away, that the freezing had
too great a start on him, and that he would soon be stiff and dead.
This thought he kept in the background and refused to consider.
Sometimes it pushed itself forward and demanded to be heard, but he
thrust it back and strove to think of other things.
It struck him as
curious that he could run at all on feet so frozen that he could not
feel them when they struck the earth and took the weight of his body.
He seemed to himself to skim along above the surface, and to have no
connection with the earth. Somewhere he had once seen a winged
Mercury, and he wondered if Mercury felt as he felt when skimming
over the earth.
His theory of running
until he reached camp and the boys had one flaw in it: he lacked the
endurance. Several times he stumbled, and finally he tottered,
crumpled up, and fell. When he tried to rise, he failed. He must sit
and rest, he decided, and next time he would merely walk and keep on
going. As he sat and regained his breath, he noted that he was
feeling quite warm and comfortable. He was not shivering, and it even
seemed that a warm glow had come to his chest and trunk. And yet,
when he touched his nose or cheeks, there was no sensation. Running
would not thaw them out. Nor would it thaw out his hands and feet.
Then the thought came to him that the frozen portions of his body
must be extending. He tried to keep this thought down, to forget it,
to think of something else; he was aware of the panicky feeling that
it caused, and he was afraid of the panic. But the thought asserted
itself, and persisted, until it produced a vision of his body totally
frozen. This was too much, and he made another wild run along the
trail. Once he slowed down to a walk, but the thought of the freezing
extending itself made him run again.
And all the time the
dog ran with him, at his heels. When he fell down a second time, it
curled its tail over its forefeet and sat in front of him, facing
him, curiously eager and intent. The warmth and security of the
animal angered him, and he cursed it till it flattened down its ears
appeasingly. This time the shivering came more quickly upon the man.
He was losing in his battle with the frost. It was creeping into his
body from all sides. The thought of it drove him on, but he ran no
more than a hundred feet, when he staggered and pitched headlong. It
was his last panic. When he had recovered his breath and control, he
sat up and entertained in his mind the conception of meeting death
with dignity. However, the conception did not come to him in such
terms. His idea of it was that he had been making a fool of himself,
running around like a chicken with its head cut off—such was
the simile that occurred to him. Well, he was bound to freeze anyway,
and he might as well take it decently. With this new-found peace of
mind came the first glimmerings of drowsiness. A good idea, he
thought, to sleep off to death. It was like taking an anaesthetic.
Freezing was not so bad as people thought. There were lots worse ways
to die.
He pictured the boys
finding his body next day. Suddenly he found himself with them,
coming along the trail and looking for himself. And, still with them,
he came around a turn in the trail and found himself lying in the
snow. He did not belong with himself any more, for even then he was
out of himself, standing with the boys and looking at himself in the
snow. It certainly was cold, was his thought. When he got back to the
States he could tell the folks what real cold was. He drifted on from
this to a vision of the old-timer on Sulphur Creek. He could see him
quite clearly, warm and comfortable, and smoking a pipe.
Then the man drowsed
off into what seemed to him the most comfortable and satisfying sleep
he had ever known. The dog sat facing him and waiting. The brief day
drew to a close in a long, slow twilight. There were no signs of a
fire to be made, and, besides, never in the dog's experience had it
known a man to sit like that in the snow and make no fire. As the
twilight drew on, its eager yearning for the fire mastered it, and
with a great lifting and shifting of forefeet, it whined softly, then
flattened its ears down in anticipation of being chidden by the man.
But the man remained silent. Later, the dog whined loudly. And still
later it crept close to the man and caught the scent of death. This
made the animal bristle and back away. A little longer it delayed,
howling under the stars that leaped and danced and shone brightly in
the cold sky. Then it turned and trotted up the trail in the
direction of the camp it knew, where were the other food-providers
and fire-providers. – End